The Healing Process

Some wounds you can see, huge and ugly, leaving your flesh scared for life. Some wounds unseen, contained in the depth of your heart, hurting, well hidden. Its yours alone noone to bear it with you, no matter how hard you try to understand, no matter how hard you try to explain it, no body feels it. It becomes a part of you slowly eating away till your heart is black, scared and unhealable. No body can ever understand, nobody can ever take the pain away, you say its fine when it really isn't. Some wounds are better hidden, some just need a partner to share the pain with and take it away. Some pains never vanish. Your pain becomes your fear, your fear becomes your scar, your scar becomes you. Its safe to hide your fears, act like it doesnt exist, but its best to face your fears, break out of safety, then you'll be disappointed at how petite your fear really was. And how silly you had been. I cant face my fears. It has the best part of me. Maybe my fear just needs someone to take it away. But there's really nobody. I realize how alone I really am. And then i begin to doubt my worth. Am i really worth anything? I know if i die today i wont be missed. I have nothing to offer to the world, all i do is take from it, and then, i feel like a waste of space. So i'll drown in my tears, and pray the good lord has mercy on my soul, make my death brief, painless and soon. A little selfish i might be, but selfish to myself.